Basic rules
Yes, there are some basic "rules" to remember. But don't obsess. Focus your attention and energy on making sure your guests enjoy themselves. That's what entertaining is all about, after all. The most important thing about etiquette is to not let it get in the way of a good time!
Be the best guest
If you wish to bring a gift to a dinner party, bring a book, a seasonal decoration or even a homemade treat - but be careful not to imply that it should be served that evening. If you bring drinks, don't expect it to be served automatically. It's best not to bring flowers unless they are in a tied bunch, as your host may not have time to arrange them. Nevertheless, flowers make a great next-day thank you.
One thing you can leave at home is your mobile phone. At the very least it should be set to silent and tucked away in a bag or pocket. Leaving phones on a dining table is a real no-no – and taking calls while at the table is a huge faux pas!
Reception drinks
As a host, you should greet each guest personally and pour their first drink. If you are hosting a large gathering, it's easier to offer pre-poured trays of drinks and sparkling water near the entrance. If a guest has brought a bottle of drink, the proper thing to do is to ask if they would like it to be served.
Napkins
When setting the table, napkins are always placed on top of the plates, never under the silverware. Guests take their seats and place napkins on their laps immediately. If the napkins are under the silverware the setting will be disrupted. If you leave the table during dinner, place your napkin on your seat. If you're finished eating altogether, place your napkin to the left of your plate - never on the plate. Nothing looks quite as stylish as a crisp white tablecloth and napkins. Ensure yours stay pristine with Surf excel - famous for its stain-zapping powers.
Place settings
Even at the most informal dinner party you'll be presented with a dazzling array of silverware. The settings follow simple rules - forks on the left, knives and spoons on the right. The knife blade faces the plate. The item you use first is on the outermost side. So if salad is served first, use the fork on the furthest left first. Dessert spoons and forks are placed horizontally above the plate, if dessert is going to be served at the same table.
At the table
If you are handing plates to your guests you should always do so from the left - and remove them from the right. Don't stack dishes when you remove them from the table. Carry two or three at a time into the kitchen, with their silverware in place, before you scrape off food and pile up the dirty crockery.
After dinner
Leave dishwashing until all your guests have gone. Spend your time with your guests. When they're ready to leave, walk them to the door, say a brief goodbye and return to the other guests. If you are the guest, don't engage the host in a long conversation at the door!
Thank-you notes
Send a thank-you note or phone your thanks to the host within three days of the party. Emailed thank-you notes are out of the question! However, a text message to the host and all the other guests can be fun, and is completely acceptable.
Take the strain out of cleaning up
Vim will be all the help you need to get your kitchen gleaming again after all your hard work, so there really is no need for your guests to muck in.
